We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize