spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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