What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
