My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
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