hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
