apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize