He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
