We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
