I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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