yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
