so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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