I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
