Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
