PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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