you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
