Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
