the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
it was like eating out sand paper
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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