Are we in a gay sports bar?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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