i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize