Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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