Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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