Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just want to make out with him forever
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
