the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
