We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
