Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize