You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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