the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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