The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize