Are you still at the party or did I leave?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
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He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
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I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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