my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
