There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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