Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
