last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Randomize
