I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
