Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
