you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
