wrigley field is MILF paradise
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize