this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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