Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
