So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
She said her name was "party"
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
