Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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