He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
