Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
