I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
