my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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