when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
