Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
