They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
