arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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