and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
