Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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