and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize