you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
