do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
